Welcome to "we are almost to Christmas but not really" day. Let me take you back to Friday. I was all set to go to the Halloween party as a very hilarious David Beckham. I had the crutches (he always gets hurt), and my fake bling bling (he has a 500 million dollar contract. I had the socks, the haircut, the shoes, and the shorts. All I needed was the jersey to make it complete. I drove to the mall... no luck. I drove to a sports store... no luck. I drove to another mall... no luck. I ended up driving around aimlessly for about 4 hours. I wish I could tell you I was kidding, but I am afraid it really happened. So what did I go as? A stupid boring doctor. Luckily I found a fake chainsaw at Walgreen's that vibrated and made noise for only 9 dollars. It made no sense but at least I had a prop.
Kinsey on the other hand her outfit ready because she made it herself. She did run into some horrible obstacles: 1) using a glue gun and 2) her skin. Kinsey and her friend Crystal decided to glue part of their costume while it was on them to make sure it looked "cute" and "tight". This was not a very good idea because Kinsey burned herself not once, not twice, not three times... FOUR times!!! I am talking about blister causing burns. Also with the burn came hot glue stuck on her hand which in turn ripped her skin right off. Her finger looks like Freddy Krueger's face and her ankle did not fair much better. She was a trooper though. She had some tears in her eyes but it was brought to her attention that she looked cute so she got right up and we headed to the party where we saw dressed up as "ghetto man". There is nothing ghetto about a man in a bra, red wig, and weird stripper boots. It brought a great laugh though.
At the party we almost ended up having a bit of an altercation. I was standing next to a table talking to some friends when all of a sudden a girl pushes me. I had been standing there for a few minutes and had not done anything to warrant a push so I looked at the girl with the, "what in the world was that?" look. She pushed me again. By this time Kinsey had come over and asked the girl what her problem was after pushing her out of the way. Apparently her friends wanted to take a picture and the only place in this restaurant where she could stand was where I was standing at the moment. Everything got settled down because a dude walked right over to the girl and said "do you know who he is?" She answered by saying "an a-hole?" So the dude said "no, that's JC from the radio." This had embarrassing written all over it because she could have just said, "who cares." Fortunately she was a listener and rushed over to apologize. It is a bit of a bittersweet apology because if I was not on the radio she would have just been a "b" and moved right ahead with her night. But just because she happens to listen to the radio show I am on made her apologize. So you know what I did? I kicked her... haha, you know me and my kicking jokes. The rest of the time I was there she kept telling me how much she loves the show and how she listens all the time.
Chargers won!!! Unfortunately I missed the last quarter because I ate a bad piece of chicken and did not feel well. So Kinsey and I went home and I took a Tylenol. I guess I didn't take the right pill because Kinsey came in and told me I took a sleeping pill with codeine. I was passed out cold by 7pm. I missed the World Series, I missed my Court TV shows, and I missed NFL primetime on ESPN. I did get a full night sleep though : )
Hellooooooooo! Back and ready to attack for a big mack, and please don't smack or do crack... thank you. That was your rhyme to get you going. Now if you would please stand up and do it right now that would be greatly appreciated. Halloween costume update: It's between David Beckham with a crutch (because he is always hurt.... Haha, get it? No? Oh, my bad) or a bad a$$ 80's rocker with tattoos. Feel free to help a brotha out
Yo, yo, yo!!! Not the best day in the world for me yesterday. I am sure you have heard of the fires going on all over Southern California. Well, since I live away from home some things don't quite hit me as hard as they would if I were there. I knew that San Diego had some fires going on but up to yesterday most of the attention seemed to be on Malibu. That put me at ease because I figured that my home town was under control... boy was I wrong. I was tired yesterday, like most Mondays, so I decided to re-fuel myself up by taking a napizzle (that's a nap in Snoop language). I woke up and realized I had missed 5 calls from and had about 6 text messages. This is weird because I normally receive about... um... zero calls a day. I noticed my mom had called along with some friends from back in high school who I had not talked to in a while.
I then start taking a look at my text messages. My best friend Mike, who is dating his ex-girlfriend who hates me, was the last one to text me and this is what it read, "I wish I could call you but the news has told everyone to stop calling so people with emergencies can get through... its real bad dude." At this point I had already ran to the internet and read about the 250,000 people who were chased away from their homes by the fire. I texted back and forth with Mike and he let me know they had been told to leave by the police and that his grandfather's house was most likely gone. I decide to immediately call my mom and check up on them. It took me about 15 minutes to get through on the phone lines. Each time I dialed it would let me know that "all circuits are busy". It was so frustrating that I felt like throwing my phone at the wall, but that would suck because my arm is so strong that I would put a hole in the wall and have to fix it... jk.
When I finally got a hold of my mom I could tell she was frustrated mostly because my dad can't get into town to go to work, which means he is not making money. His work was closed anyways so it wouldn't help much if he got into town. Luckily my parents have not been evacuated yet. Luckily they don't live in our old neighborhood. My mom said she could see a fire approaching but as of that moment police had not rolled by telling people to leave. Unfortunately for all my friends back home this was not the case. My entire town had been evacuated. My mom told me she called our old neighbor only to have her answer the phone in tears. She told my mom that they had to leave their home and that their home would most likely be gone by Wednesday if the winds keep up. This means my old house is most likely going to go down too. Crazy huh?
I immediately tried to call everyone back and some friends who I knew were in that area and I was not able to get a hold of any of them. That's how packed the phone lines are. People are living in the stadium parking lot, in hotels, and in hotels. Even my favorite football player had to evacuate his house. I tried to call him to see if he was ok but he told me to stop stalking him... I don't think calling a pro athlete 32 times a day is excessive, geez.
Sometimes I do have to get a bit serious so I ask everyone to please put a prayer in for my home town and the rest of the people affected by this fire that just wont stop. Firefighters have to spend their time making sure people are evacuating instead of fighting the fire... the winds are so strong that fighting the fire would not do much.
Hello!!! We are officially eight days away from Halloween and I have zero idea what I want to be. I know this may be a situation that many other dudes are in, but it is a first for me. Kinsey usually has our costumes set and picked out three months before Halloween. There is the exception once in a while when she wants me to be a sailor and everyone at work makes fun of me so I have to jump off board. This year however, she can't seem to make up her darn mind. Last night she was super stressed out about it too... why is Halloween such a big day for girls? It's nuttier than squirrel poop. Hopefully we will come up with something and feel free to give suggestions. Here is the good news: If you decide to be your idea for Halloween I will give you... (Drum roll)... (More drums)... (Monkey screaming)... a hug!!!! Yay!! If you are a dude you may turn your hug in for a handshake and pat on the back... in fact I would prefer that : )
I would like to report that our flag football season is over... good news is that we made the playoffs. Bad news is... playoffs were this past Saturday and there were two things very wrong with that. A) We lost in the first round to the team we beat. B) I didn't get to play because we had prior commitments with Kidd's Kids. On the other hand, it was worth missing the game to see the families from last years trip and meet some that are going with us this year. At least meeting with Kidd's Kids doesn't take away from my man ego. That's a good way to look at it... right Big Al? "I guess" (you have to listen to the show to get that one). I do feel better about the loss because I didn't play. Haha. Is that selfish? No, but I can now say that we would have won if I did play. Now we will never know.
To top off my super exciting weekend which included teaching my dog to sing "Crank Dat", I went to the fair... by myself. I know I live the life, don't be jealous. Kinsey wanted to go shopping and I wanted to go eat a freaking corn dog from the fair. Instead of compromising and going to both I decided to be smart. If I went to the fair and then shopping with Kinsey I would miss the afternoon football games and that is a no-no. I thought I had it all figured out. Go to the fair, look like a loser, waste about 30 dollars on the freaking "get the ball in the basket" game, do a bit, go home and watch the game, and off to the studio to edit. My plan would have been flawless if I were not such an idiot. See, my key chain broke so I have my car key, my house keys, and my apartment clicker all separated. Well, I guess I did make sure I had my keys before I left because when I came home I had to sit outside my garage for about 10 minutes before someone let me. No problem... I missed the first five minutes of the game, so what. I park my car and go to my apartment. Reach in my pocket and realize that my stupid butt left my keys at home. It's all good, I will just call Kinsey... oh, wait my phone happened to be inside my house as well. That's right, I left my house with only my car key and nothing else. I figured that's why nobody called me... I didn't have my phone (I later found out that nobody called me anyways, but it made me feel good for the meanwhile). I decide to drive to the studio to edit my bit since I can't get in my house. Unfortunately, my house keys are connected to my work keys and my brain forgot to tell me that as I drove 20 minutes away to the office. So the moron of the weekend award goes to... (drummin it up)... (more drums)... Kinsey!!! For going shopping and not being at home when I needed to get in. YAY!!! Haha. I was a close second; I really thought I had it in the bag.
I eventually got back in my house at 8... yup, Kinsey really did shop for that long.
Who throws coins at someone? Let me take you back to yesterday. I am taking Dex and Delilah out to do "work". I live in a neighborhood that could be considered a bit "street", don't worry the gayberhood is about a few blocks down the street. Anyway, I am outside, the dogs are smelling the grass and taking their time because they must have noticed the red SUV with the tinted windows and the two guys looking all G'd up leaning up against it. Here is what I can't help: I can't help the fact that my girlfriend decided to get a pink leash for Delilah, and I can't help the fact that she has to wear it or she will run over to the stray cats across the street and get her butt whooped. I am probably about 15 feet away from these guys and to tell you I had a good vibe from them would be a plain out lie, but I stood my ground. I started to hear a little whisper here and there coming from their direction. You know that "I think they are talking about me whisper"? Well that's what I kept hearing.
Being smart and realizing that if these guys wanted to mess with me, I came to the conclusion that if something would go down... I would lose... bad... really, really bad. Two Chihuahuas and me vs. two guys is not a good match up, even if it is 3 on 2. So I turn around and start walking to the other end of the block. As I turn around I hear one of the guys yell, "that's what I thought queer eye for the straight guy" (minus the "eye for the straight guy"). That ticked me off, so I turned around, BAD IDEA. He then yelled, "Yeah I was talking to you." So what did I yell back? "Man, you are so tough talking ish from 30 feet away... I wish I could be just like you." Lesson number one fellas: unless you are a UFC champion, don't talk back to two guys. The guy then cocked his head to the right giving me the "what in the world are you thinking" look. He then turned his entire body towards me and yelled "WHAT!!!" I decided that I should quit while I'm ahead and decided to just keep walking away because that's what men who are alive and want to stay that way do.
As I walked away, I hear so stuff start to fall near me. So I turn around and see these idiots throwing quarters at me. So what did I do? I picked up that $1.25 and put it in my pocket. Then I walked over to them and said, "Step up fool before I bust yo face... WHAT!!!" Then I walked away. Ok, none of that happened, but I did pick up the money. Seriously though... who throws quarters at people?
On a good note: Delilah finally started barking. Dex and Delilah tried to tag team fight a cat on our walk. Luckily I had their leashes on because that cat looked mean... it probably belonged to those quarter throwing thugs.
