Sitting across from me at a small café table I see the greenest eyes, belonging to a friend of mine. I lose myself in the crevices, the twists and turns like a jungle river. Even deeper I delve into those green eyes and I start to imagine a slithering motion; for his eyes start to resemble snake skin. That slimy, yet smooth, texture creeps through that jungle river; hunting for its next prey.

Ashamed for staring too long at his eyes, I look down towards the table. But, in my peripheral vision I still see his body, for I am just trying to hide from those wild jungle eyes. But those broad shoulders and lean neck don’t seem to be much more of an improvement in taming my desires. I remove my mind into my own thoughts.

We started as friends, but something happened as I got to know him. Feelings that I had thought lost were reawakened. Feelings that I thought would be felt for no other after He had hurt me. But, there they were; there was no use in denying it to myself.

When we first met, I thought he was cute. Not extremely handsome, nor did I think he was a stud. He was just a good looking guy to me.

He is a waiter at Chili’s, and at six foot three inches, he towered over his tables. I was having dinner with my friend Sandy when I first spoke with him. There was no immediate sparks on my part. But I did notice his slender frame, broad shoulders, and a head of hair that was like a thick, black forest. His hair just seemed to flow and curl in all the right places. I knew I was a sucker for guys with shaggy hair, but I didn’t know it could be as bad as it was for this boy.

Coming back to earth, after being lost in thought, I look at his face again, through eyes brimmed with tears, I see his face completely. Those ever deepening green eyes staring back at me, a jaw nicely accompanied by a few whiskers, and lips that looked so wonderfully kissable; they seemed to be taunting me. Knowing that I could do nothing about it, I lowered my head again and let tear drops fall on my lap, losing myself in want.

I remember the first night I hung out with him. It was Jared’s birthday, and so we went out to eat to celebrate. Sandy, being Jared’s girlfriend, planned the whole night. She had us dress up nice for dinner at Taco Diner. I, being a little off put by the restaurant’s name, wanted to check if it was nice enough for guys, in black Dockers and button up shirts, and ladies, in cocktail dresses. Walking past Taco Diner, I see more people in jeans and shorts than I would have cared for. So I whined about how it wasn’t very dressy, we changed restaurants to Mi Cocina, which happened to be his favorite.

I remember how just seeing him dressed up made my jaw drop slightly. It was just… that night he looked so debonair, so suave; even though he nearly ruined that image during dinner when he spilled his tea on my lap. But after dinner we walked around. Getting ice cream from Coldstone and sitting by a pond in the area.

I caught myself looking over at him unconsciously; just taking in every detail in his face, his stance, and his movement. His face made me feel comfortable, there was an air of agreeableness in his stance, and his movement was like looking upon one of my favorite characters, Spike Spiegel. Now, I won’t go into detail about Spike other than that he seems to glide through his movements with an odd ruggedness that doesn’t seem possible.

I blink, snapping back to the reality of the café table that was in front of me, I chance a look up again at the face that seemed to understand me, but so far from it. He’s been talking to me this whole time, trying to understand why I felt like I did. It hurt me, the fact that a guy so physically appealing to me was so incredibly sweet as well, and I wasn’t able to reach out to him to let him know. As I got to know who he was, not only did his physical attractiveness grow in my eyes, but his personality appealed to me like no one else had before him.

I found a guy sitting right in front of me who liked camping and being outdoors when there was time, enjoyed music (listening, singing, and playing), outgoing with the rest of them, loves animals, and respected their mom. Pretty much all the things I had only wished to find in a guy. I sigh; thinking that is was a shame that all of this attraction I found was one sided. But, alas it is the dangers of a crush, no matter what age it happens at.

No longer able to just sit there staring at the ground, I try to find my voice. And for the first time since he arrived I speak my mind.