ME BEEN SMART AZZ LOL

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

It's only after someone is gone you accutally realize how much you miss them

First loves... those are the ones that introduced you to everything, made you love them, loved you back, and also broke your heart. But no matter how hurt you are, you'll always love them. Always. They'll stay with you forever. Even if you don't notice it, but deep down you will compare every other girl to her. And none of them will live up. Then after months of letting go...when you finally think you are okay with letting her go, you'll see something that reminds you of how much she meant to you and how much you really loved her and realize you're not completely over her and never will be.

Our last names never change. The garage is all ours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. We can be President. We will never get pregnant. We can wear a white T-shirt's to water parks. We can go shirtless at a water park. Car mechanics tell us the truth. The world is our urinal. We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because the first one is too icky. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at our chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. We are able to open all of our own jars. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite us, to a party / gathering / bar-b-que / housewarming, he or she can still be our friend. Underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. We never have strap problems in public. We are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on our face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. We only have to shave our face and neck. We can play with toys all your life. Our belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look. We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache...

We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes flat at 5:35PM just before the stores close at 6:00PM! No wonder men are happier!